Wait… That’s it? Article over? This is basically the greatest phone ever?
Spoiler:
No. Fuck no.
Yes, this phone is technically great. But when the fuck have numbers on a spreadsheet factored into your purchasing decisions? Or even bullet-pointed lists?
As an example, take that list I wrote in the Pros section — 10:1 that half of you just skimmed that. And why? Cuz it didn’t matter in the long run, did it? Same applies to the S7.
The issue here is that nothing about this phone is special. There is no unique feature, no reason to brag to your friends that you just spent close to a grand on a useless hunk of plastic — nothing. So then what’s the point of a status symbol if it doesn’t bring any status?
About the same as watching Date-A-Live for any reason other than her.
Mediocrity incarnate, the S7 may as well just be another forgettable slice-of-life anime. It’ll probably appeal to that same lobotomized demographic who don’t need flashy gimmicks to justify their interest.
I will never forgive the slice-of-lifers for ruining Milky Holmes. ;_;
Overall rating: 5/10
(Though don’t take this as an endorsement of the iPhone — unless you’re over 60 or under 6, you’re probably not the target market for that playmobil bullshit.)
Okay, filler article done. Expect a Sakuracon hype post when I wake up, cuz, uh… it’s gonna be a hype con. ._.
