Rem

Rem’s the kinda girl you’d roofie just to get her to shut the fuck up. Never met a whinier piece of beta cuckmeat until I found her fanbase.

Seriously, nee-san, grow a fucking spine. Nobody wants to fuck jello.

Mimi

Mimi is a throwaway side character that should’ve died in her introduction episode. At least she’s short so the pixel waste is minimized.

Betty

She fucks cats, yo.

Random Village Girl

I’m not about that life. (Red backpack or GTFO.)

Emilia

“Nobody else wants me, so I guess I can overlook the fact that you’re a stalking, degenerate piece of shit.”

However much I like Emilia’s character design, fuck that ending.

Ram

At least she’s not Rem.

Felt

Sure, she may be a street walker, but ain’t nothing wrong with a little experience. Don’t wanna get corn-on-the-cob’d after all.

Hoodiemilia

In hoodie mode, Emilia looks cute enough for me to ignore that she doesn’t have a personality.

Wilhelm’s Wife

Yes, I know she’s dead. That’s why she’s on the list.

Rem, Creep Mode

Rem is great when she’s a stalking, degenerate piece of shit.

Betelgeuse, Waifu Mode

I’m not saying I wanna get fisted, but if a girl asked with a face like that…

The Three Good Candidates, All At Once, Plus Felix b/c Let Me Have This

<3

Elsa

Absolutely still in. Are you kidding me?

Satella-chan

Pretty sure she’s saving herself for me. What else could that scene have meant?